Forgotten Speech #2 - Jay & Laura's Wedding

Firstly, thank you to everyone who has helped with this wonderful party. Whether you managed the logistics or just showed up to support this lovely couple.

I think this might be the first five minutes of silence I’ve observed from Jason’s sisters — who, I might add all look lovely tonight.

I have known Jason since he, Derek and I worked together in our usual nerd-for-hire roles. For those of you who know Jason, it won’t be news to you that we got up to some drunken-school-boy-style antics. And though I haven’t been asked to, I consider it my civic duty to give you a window into the life of single Jason. Flash back a few years, October 30th 2004. - Devil’s night. We left work en route to a halloween party. Jason all in black except his one red and one white (“north” and “south” pole shoes) and small yellow paper chickens taped to his chest. He was a veritable “chick magnet”. The activities of the night I won’t bore you with. Mostly because none of us remember the details. All I know is that I got a call at 4 am from Jason who had just tried to break into his own house and failed… miserably. So a sleepover party it was. In the later hours of the morning, at the foot of my bed, jason appeared.

“Simon,” he mumbled, “I wet your bed.”

That, for the record, makes Jason one of only two men that have ever peed my bed.

I have been away for a couple of years. I returned to a more calm, a happier and most importantly a completed man. Who I was proud to stand by when he married his best friend and soul mate. Who also to all of our surprise, wasn’t Derek. I’m not quite sure what kind of goo souls are made of. But Jason, Laura, with yours, it’s the same stuff.